Let’s talk about the elephant in the women’s bathroom.

Female levels of toxicity isn’t just poor behaviour. It’s cultural quicksand.

Picture 16-year-old me. First part-time job. Bright-eyed. Just trying to figure everything out. An older and experienced colleague storms up to me and accuses me of flirting with her husband. I didn’t even know what flirting was. Still don't really. 

Years later, a woman boss told me to get rid of a team member who’d just joyously announced she was pregnant. Jaw, meet floor.

And recently another woman claimed I screamed at her. I’ve never screamed at anyone in my entire existence, not even on the worst days of my life.

And online? The trolling is next level.  And the second you speak with confidence, the network lights up:

Who does she think she is? She’s too much. Or digs in the DMs. Classy. This isn’t women just being awful. It’s what happens when systems pit us against each other.

🔸 I understand that Queen bee behaviour does tend to thrive in male-dominated cultures, it’s survival, not DNA.

🔸 49% of Australian mothers experience pregnancy discrimination at work. That get rid of her moment? Illegal.

🔸 Women report more incivility from other women that includes eye rolls, exclusion, micro-cuts.

 Here’s what I’m done tolerating:

 1️⃣ Lazy labels. Bring the specifics with receipts.

 2️⃣ Pregnancy bias is a hard no. Fair Work Act says so.

 3️⃣ Positive duty is real. Prevention and not dusty policies.

 4️⃣ Trolling. Moderate, report, back each other up.

 5️⃣ Be a sponsor. Correct the record. Kill whisper campaigns.

I would love women to be each other’s unfair advantage. Not silent competitors. Allies. Co-conspirators. 

🔸 Have you ever been trolled, mischaracterised or undermined by another woman at work or online? 

References:

-- AHRC National Review: Pregnancy & Work

-- TUC Harassment poll

-- Ng et al. PLOS Global Public Health

-- Schilpzand et al. J. Org. Behaviour